Well here we are, last Friday- about a week after my 50th birthday, and noting that I am at the heaviest weight I have EVER been, I found myself there.
Sitting in front of a Bariatric surgeon. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing surgery, but it's something that I have long fought against. Much like an alcoholic or drug addict fight against going to treatment. I could do it on my own, I thought. Well I have finally allowed myself to get to the conclusion that I NEED HELP - SOME SERIOUS HELP.
I am trying a Dr. supervised Optifast diet. Basically a specially formulated liquid diet for the next 3 to 4 months. I am able to have small portions of veggies and stock, and I can replace a shake with a meat and veg meal on special occasions, but otherwise, I'm done with food!
Today is day two and I am having all kinds of physical and mental stress. The runs this morning, peeing every second (do to the increased water intake), slight headache and body ache, and then there is the ache that's not physical, but mental. I MISS FOOD!
I am taking a Clean Eating on-line course as I go through this process, and I am also working my way through a cognitive therapy workbook, and a binge eating book, in an effort to truly change from the inside out. I know it's the only change I have to make this work.
I printed off a calendar and I'm crossing off each completed day. 2 down, 118 to go. To put it into perspective, I keep telling myself, I am only 118 days away to a brand new me, and a brand new life.
I do not have the option of quitting this, my life depends on it!
1 comment:
You got this!
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