The Dreaded Man Cold!

Ever heard of that term. Apparenlty men become whiney when they are sick.... well I am not a man (in case you didn't notice) but I am probably the biggest suck to be around when I am sick. I went to the gym Wednesday morning, wasn't feeling great but not too bad either. Came home and showered and was driving to work when the cold and flu symptoms hit me like a ton of bricks! I still have the head congestion, you know where your entire face hurts, and the runny nose and fever- blargh. I was supposed to go check out a martial arts gym with my trainer last night which I am pumped to go see but had to cancel, and I had to cancel a date tonight which I was so looking forward too..... ok ok, I will stop whining..... I just hate being sick. Hopefully I can get in a workout tomorrow morning.

So speaking about working out, I have been wearing my body bugg when I work out to calculate calories burned. It's a little bit surprising to see the calorie burn when I think about how hard I work out but it is also interesting to see most activities, with boxing being the exception, burn between 275 and 300 per hour. Here is how my last six training sessions stacked up against my CN Tower climb:

CN Tower : 1 hr 10 min calorie burn 310

Weight cycle: 1 hour calorie burn 275

Cardio: treadmill 1 min intervals at incline 15, speed 3.5 and lunges in between sets - calorie burn 293

Boxing : conditioning, wearing 40 lb vest 1 hr calorie burn 495

Weight cycle: 1 hr - shoulder back and legs calories burned 277.

Cardio: 1 hr bike 10 k lv 5, rpm between 80 - 90, treadmill intervals lv 15, sp 3.5, calories burned 410.

Wow, I just downloaded wednesdays workout and the bike and treadmill gave me a great calorie burn, this is something I will look at doing myself when I go.

Finally, a fitness progress report..... Plank position- lol. when I started I could hold the plank position for oh about 5 seconds before collapsing in a pool of sweat on the floor..... Wednesday I did the plank position for 1 min 16 seconds yay!

Dinner date and Shopping

Sooooo, last night I had a dinner date with the guy I have been seeing for a little while now. Normally, I go to his place as he lives in downtown Toronto and there is way more to do down there. Last night I invited him out for a home cooked meal (he eats out way too much). His choice for a meal was lasagna, which I served with salad and bread. Everything went well, he seemed to enjoy the dinner and we both enjoyed each others company. I have really not dated in such a long time(over 10 years) so I feel like a 20 yr old in many ways, everything is all new again. To me the biggest thing to get used to is showing off my body, instead of hiding it under loose clothes. So I had on a wrap dress, brown tiger print that is fairly low cut but really shows off my curvy figure, even though I was not very comfortable putting it on. When he walked through the door, his eyes nearly bugged out of his head and he told me quite a few times how much he loved my outfit and my curvy figure..... hehehe, what a great feeling, and a definite confidence booster.

So today I went shopping, I was looking for a swimsuit for the gym as I am starting to do some swimming on Monday and need a sports style suit(which is impossible to find btw - does Speedo think that anyone over a size 16 doesn't swim - wth). Anyway, I went to Addition- Elle and didn't find any swim wear, but I did pick up the cutest top and tried on a 1 x and it actually fit, and looked fantastic. (picture will follow). I am heading to the States to go outlet shopping next weekend, and cannot wait to pick up some clothing that actually fits as most of my clothes are way too big now.

Okay, I am off to catch up on some sleep, tomorrow, I am going to do some shopping for core/filling foods. I have to get my eating under control this week. It is time to kick the 240's to the curb!!!!!

Final note to anyone who watched Biggest Loser: Does anyone else think it a bit over the top that Rudy has lost 100 lbs in 7 weeks. I mean it is great, but something in the back of my head keeps telling me it will be harder to keep it off if you lose it so fast. I admit I have a secret crush on Rudy though, he is such an easy going guy. I also loved the fact that some of the past contestants were going to be running a triathlon the next day. Woot, good for them.

Here is the top I bought (please disregard the fact that I look horrible- lol)

Major Setback or Major Breakthrough????

For the last little while I have written a bit about my trainer trying to figure me out- how to motivate me to reach my goals, we had the bashing me session, and we had the challenge to lose 20 lbs or shave my head. Neither worked. On Friday, my trainer told me he has been thinking about me a lot trying to figure me out.... I told him even i haven't figured me out, so please enlighten me once he has- lol.

That conversation got me thinking about what the "problem" is. On my drive home from work Friday I was still pondering this when it hit me like a ton of bricks: there is no problem- I am thrilled to death with my progress thus far and even though the weight it coming off slowly, I have changed both internally and externally in the last 8 months. I still have to speak to my trainer about this new found revelation but it's nice to not be worrying about what I am doing wrong, and be proud of me for what I am doing right.

Now talking about what I am doing wrong- lol. I decided it was time to let loose for an evening and forget about watching weight, or exercise or dating troubles and hook up with my girlfriends for a wild night out.... It started with wine and pizza (lots and lots of pizza) and went downhill from there. But I had an awesome time, drank waaay too much and feel like a bag of shyte today. The good news is I am ready to refocus and plan and kick things back into high gear again.

One final note, even though I did not reach my final 20lb goal, I decided to go get my hair cut and colored yesterday and I made sure my make up was perfect and I was dress in proper fitting clothes. I even have a picture (lol) (photo has been deleted, every time I look at it I break out laughing...)


I am SUCH a poser- lol. You can always tell when I am feeling good about myself because I do that little pouty thing that my friends laugh at- hahaha. BUT I must say, I got quite a bit of attention from the men last night, and THAT felt wonderful.

Just my luck.........

After so many years of absolutely loathing my body and FINALLY taking steps to finally do something about it, I meet the perfect man for me, he is absolutely amazing in just about every way imaginable, and he adores me and my curvy figure. He doesn't just accept me as fat, he PREFERS me this way. He tells me I am beautiful and sexy and feminine and all of the things that I have NEVER felt about myself and the thing is I believe that he REALLY thinks this. I am trying to just take it day by day and enjoy the confidence boost that he gives me but I have said to him over and over, we may have met at the wrong time because I am on my way to becoming a thin, trim athlete, so he better enjoy me while he can. lol.... He actually thinks I am kidding.....

Hmmm what else is going on. I have been keeping a very detailed food journal for the last week, after my disappointing weigh in last week. I have been counting fat, carbs, protein and calories in everything I eat. This has made a huge difference and I see the weight on the scale finally moving downward. I am actually looking forward to my next weigh in.

Finally, I had my hypnotherapy session on Thursday which was really good. It was all about visualization. I was visualizing my weight going down and how I would feel with each pound lost. She made reference to me walking along a beach and there were numbers stretched out along the beach, starting with my current weight and going downward to my goal weight.... She asked me if I would be ok with letting 257 go and I said yet, so she had me wipe out 257 with my foot. She keep going down pound by pound and then every 10 pounds all the way down to my goal. About half way through my mind was getting so into this exercise, I was not just wiping the number out of the sand, I was kicking the shit out of it. Grinding it away as hard as I could, I think to make sure that number could NEVER come back to mess up my life again! She then had me visualize my 5k run in October, the way I will feel. The sound of the crowd, the sound of all the runners surrounding me at the start of the race, and the way I will feel as I run toward the finish line. I could feel a real "ugly cry" coming on (you know when your face scruntches) but I held it back for the most part, but I couldn't stop my lips from quivering and I couldn't stop the lone tear that escaped from the corner of my eye and ran down the side of my face..... She asked me how I feel, finishing the race, and I said I feel happy, and so VERY proud of myself. I relived that feeling yesterday reading the blog post of a fellow w.w. who just completed her first 5k run and she spoke about crying when she finished the race..... I cried right along with her when reading the post. Honestly, unless you have lived as an obese person, I don't think you can understand how much has to be overcome to get to the point where we are able to go out and run a 5k race....... and it's not just about the running, it is so much more. That is what I love about reading peoples blogs. There definitely is strength in numbers and when others succeed, it gives me the strength and the courage to continue in my journey. I am getting through each and every workout, all the pain, all the sweat, all the hard work, by thinking about nothing else but crossing that finish line!

Just a quick post to say that my workouts are going awesome. On Friday, I did an obstacle course that my trainer set up for me, Had to do the course 5 times in under 8 mins My time was 7:53. I aim to eventually get that time down to 4 minutes. Coffee date was super duper fantastic and we are planning on a dinner date in the very near future ;)

Life is good today.

The Secret

Has anyone read this book, or saw the video like I did. It is all about the power of positive thoughts. Now my hypnosis therapy focuses on this A LOT. I do know that much of what was said to me under hypnosis were things to change the internal dialog inside my head from negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Well it seems to be working in all aspects of my life.

I have met an amazing man on an internet dating site, who lives close by, has many of the same interests as me, is 6 ft tall (yeahhhh) and loves my curvy figure. After chatting a bit we have arranged a coffee (or a drink) date for next weekend. I am absolutely terrified, but excited as well. I haven't dated in a very long time, but I am trying to stay positive and more importantly confident!

I love the positive things that are coming out of this journey :)