Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Secret

Has anyone read this book, or saw the video like I did. It is all about the power of positive thoughts. Now my hypnosis therapy focuses on this A LOT. I do know that much of what was said to me under hypnosis were things to change the internal dialog inside my head from negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Well it seems to be working in all aspects of my life.

I have met an amazing man on an internet dating site, who lives close by, has many of the same interests as me, is 6 ft tall (yeahhhh) and loves my curvy figure. After chatting a bit we have arranged a coffee (or a drink) date for next weekend. I am absolutely terrified, but excited as well. I haven't dated in a very long time, but I am trying to stay positive and more importantly confident!

I love the positive things that are coming out of this journey :)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cake decorating- Level II is now completed

So I haven't posted much about the cake decorating. The last three weeks we were making flowers and then this week we put them all on a lovely spring themed cake. Here are the pictures:

Words that sting.

So I was speaking to my Dad yesterday afternoon, and I should say, that my Dad is truly my hero, all my life everything that he does and everything that he says is gospel to me. I've also realized that a lot of the negative self esteem problems that I have now, come from my parents and they way they raised me. Now understand I do not hold them responsible in the least for the negative self esteem and weight problems I suffer from today, but I am beginning to see where at least some of it comes from.

So back to yesterday, we were just chatting about life etc and then he mentioned someone he knows and how they are now morbidly obese. He said it's funny because to talk to him on the phone, he is the most nice happy person ever, and you would just never think that they were so big and fat! I honestly just shook my head in disbelief, and looked at him and said, honestly Dad, what does one have to do with the other? seriously, and I wonder how I grew up thinking I was never worthy of anything simply because I was fat. I wanted to yell at him and say that it is because of comments like that that I have been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months. But alas, I have been taught from a young age not to speak back to my father, so I just changed the subject and said I really need to get going.

In my head today, I am trying to deal with this, I will not bury these feelings inside me like I did in the past, I am trying, rather than being mad at him, to feel sorry for him for his ignorance, and just let it go.

Why does this journey have to be such a battle...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Wow how time flies

Can hardly believe it's been so long since my last post. Things have been very busy to say the least. My life for the last month completely revolves around getting my life back, and by that I mean doing what I need to do to get healthy.

I have posted often about joining the gym and working with a trainer, honestly I think that was the best decision I have ever made. My trainer is awesome, he is so inspirational, he makes me laugh, he makes me believe in myself and he knows exactly what to say and do to get the most out of me every workout.

During a 1 min break on Wednesdays session, he asked me if I wanted to run a 5k run with him and some other people in September. ME - a frigging 5K - In September OF THIS YEAR!!!!!!! I asked him if he thought I would be ready for that by September and he said "of course you will" That one moment made me so happy, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry or hug him or do a friggin back flip. Last September I made a bucket list of all the far out crazy, unimaginable things that I wanted to accomplish in this life and becoming a runner was one of them.

I will try to write more often about the trials of going to the gym and will definitely write when I have my next weigh in and they take my measurements. I think I will see a huge change especially in the inches lost.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

New Routine

Wow, can't belive it has been a month since my last post. Things are good, my life has changed and is busy, but things are going well and I am feeling more and more positive every day.

So I am now working out 3 mornings a week with B.J., my personal trainer.