Carb Free day 4 - scale woes and progress pic

Today I was worried about being able to stay on program with a pot luck lunch at work. Well I am very happy to say that I stayed carb free.... Mind you I had a small piece of KFC chicken, just made sure to remove all traces of the skin and coating, had a black bean and corn salad, which i separated out the corn and pushed them to the side with the chicken skin... There were lots of great looking things including lots of desserts, but I mananged to keep my eye on the prize.

I have a pair of dress pants I bought about 6 years ago when I reached 228lbs (on a previous weight loss attempt) I never actually fit into before I gained back all of my weight. Today I wore them to work and they fit perfectly. i know I am nowhere near 228 yet, but I must have lost a bit for them to fit..... they are a size 16 .... Now I have written before about ditching my scale into the trunck of my car so I couldn't obsess over the scale right.... well tonight I grabbed it from the truck to take a peek at how far I have come.... well I dropped the scale on the parking lot (concrete) floor plus it has been pretty cold out which I assume would play havoc with my scale. Well I hope so because it is weighing me 10lbs heavier than I was at my last weigh in two weeks ago... Arrrrrrgh, the damn scale is going back into the truck tomorrow..... after I check my weight one more time in the morning.

I have notices a change in my arms and shoulders recently, and I find myself staring at them when I am drying my hair or looking in the mirror... Tonight I took a picture of what it is that I am seeing and I am just loving the definition I am getting in my arms and shoulders. Here is a picture (please don't mind the bags under my eyes or the ratty tank top I am wearing lol...

Sabotage?

I have honestly never believed that anyone in my life would sabotage my weight loss efforts, I have felt nothing but support from everyone who is close to me, so today it is really bothering me that I am feel like one of my friends was trying to sabotage me last night!

I had a couple of friends over for a girls night in, I picked up a bottle of wine and desert and one of my other friends was picking up Chinese food... So we were all adding our thoughts into the menu, chicken fried rice, steamed rice, a chicken dish, a beef dish, and baby bok choi (sp). My plan was to have steamed rice, veggies, and a small spoonful of the other two dishes. Lo and behold my friend arrives with the Chinese food and as she is putting it all out she realized that she forgot the steamed rice and the veggies! WTF

As it turns out I did not really like the chicken dish or the beef dish so I didn't overindulge, I also put together a really low point dessert (slice of pound cake with thawed frozen berries topped with pineapple coconut yogurt), and I only had two glasses of wine, so in all the night was a success weight wise. I just needed to write this down and let it go....... this friend has been nothing but supportive of my efforts so I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

On other note, I was shopping last week at Winners and bought a jacket. Now I have been big all my life, except for a brief moment in time when I was in high school and went down to 150 lbs. I have longed to be able to buy funky, stylish clothes and look good in them, but for so long I have not been able to find plus size clothing that even remotely looked cool and stylish, so I am just loving this jacket and have to tell you the best part is the purple lining, I wish I could wear it inside out..... here is a picture, which really doesn't show the style very well, it is s short motorcycle style, but you can see that it makes me happy-lol

Comparison Pic

morning weigh in: 244lbs




I am struggling today, and was looking for some inspiration. I think I have found it in these photos. The first one was taken last September while I attempted to hike at a nearby park. I remember I was just getting over a ruptured disk in my back and could barely walk for longer than 10 minutes without being exhausted. I was in some serious pain in this photo. I was also a smoker. I quit 2 mos after this picture was taken and I should mention gained about more about 20 more pounds before January 1, 2009.

I was 260lbs in the first pic and 245 in the 2nd, so only 15lbs lighter but I can see a pretty big difference...can you? This is the motivation I need to see that working out is helping - A LOT!

Here is a close up of my face. Is there a difference? I think I just look healthier in the second picture(even though I look horrible - smile much-lol)

Gym Update

Pain is temporary, quitting is forever - Lance Armstrong


So after my last post about questioning whether or not I could really get fit, I found new motivation. One of the girls who works out with my trainer BJ before me asked me if I would run a 5k race with her in September. BJ is on board too so looks like I will be running a 5k race in the Toronto Marathon on October 18.

This morning I woke up and all the previous aches and pains were gone and I felt rested and renewed and couldn't wait to get to the gym. Today was a workout on the treadmill I had to run for 45 sec, then walk for 2 mins. Then when it was not too hard, BJ upped the time to 1 minute, that is full out running (well more of a jog really- speed set at 4.5mph)for 1 min....... so I ran and when I hit the 1 min mark BJ screamed out YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS ONE MINUTE! Now normally I would have been mortified at having all the other people on the treadmills turn to look at me, but today I just muttered "Way to draw all the attention to me" We were both beaming from ear to ear. It really is nice to work with someone who gets as much joy out of my accomplishments as I do. Anyway I was on the treadmill for a total of 45 mins, I was actually running for about 18 of those minutes, I am so freaking excited by this it isn't even funny.

Tonight however, my legs are really sore and I am exhausted, but I am back in the game- and loving every second of it!

I have included a picture of me and my niece, which was taken on the weekend simply because I love the way my arms look. I have stared at this picture so many times and never seem to get tired of it. - lol (You see I have always HATED my arms and they way they look in pictures, but in this one, they are not too bad)

Getting Back on Track

Why is it that it is so hard to get back on track once you fall off the wagon. I went on a cruise for a week, and pretty much let myself go, I gave little thought to what I was eating and drank a bit too much as well. The good news is that I felt comfortable the entire week in every situation which is a complete 180 from the old me. I used to go on vacation and sit frozen in fear on the lounge chair and never go into the ocean because I was too afraid to walk along the beach in a swim suit.... On this trip I enjoyed the ocean at every opportunity, and it was fantastic. I also for the first time had a professional photo taken of me. My Dad has photos up on his wall of his three daughters and pic of me is my high school photo from 1983! So here are the two photos I had done:




I plan on taking a few more photos next year when I hope to go cruising again, which will be my "after" photos.

I told myself over and over, that this week I will get back on track, back to the gym, back to healthy eating, but that is yet to happen. I had two days of training with BJ, but now he is away until next friday. I will try and push myself to go to the gym at least a few times this coming week and plan on doing a "healthy food shop" today.

This seems to be my first test since beginning in January where motivation and confidence is lacking but I will take it as a challenge and kick it's ass!!!!!!

On a somewhat different topic. Have you ever wondered what you look like to others, I mean really look like. I was browsing through some pictures on facebook (my cousin's son's photos) and noticed that I was standing in the background. I had to look about 3 times before I actually believed this was me, but yep, it was. Totally the most unflattering picture I have seen of me, but I was pleasantly surprised that rather than feeling upset at the sight of this picture, I was rather indifferent and thought that it was a good "true" indication of how I look and gives me a starting point. Anyway here is the picture.

EXERCISE!

So on the holiday Monday, I went out for a hike. This is literally the first exercise I have gotten in...... well a really long time! I have to say it was really tough, I was out of breath, my back and legs were aching but you know what, I felt great to get out there and get moving. Here are a couple of pictures. I absoulely hate the picture of me, but it is reality and reminds me why I need to lose weight. Oh by the way the total hike was 4.5 k - One step closer to climbing my mountain.

So today started with grocery shopping. I emptied my fridge and cupboards of stuff yesterday and managed to do pretty well. Used only 4 flex and drank 2l of water.
Today, I am making a couple of new recipes and will try to drink 2L of water again.

So I thought I should take a couple of official before pics. You can see how twisted I am because of the back issues I am having at the moment. The pic's aren't pretty, but they are reality: