Saturday, May 30, 2009

Killing time.

Jeez I am feeling bored tonight and I'm trying to stay away from the kitchen. The truth is I was supposed to be going out on a long awaited date tonight, however I was advised late Thurdsay that he could not make it and asked if I would consider a raincheck until this week. Under normal circumstances I would have said no worries, however, there is a bit of a history here and I told him it's probably better to just not even try to reschedule. I really had a great feeling about this guy when I met him but I am no longer sure and I think I would rather concentrate on working towards a brand spanking new me instead of falling into another doomed relationship. lol

Anyway, I have been adding some new quotes to my page. I absolutely love inspirational quotes. I remember as a teen having the words "TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" placed on the wall just inside the door of my bedroom. It used to inspire me to move forward. Forget the past and concentrate on the future. Somehow I managed to forget about that quote but perhaps I will have to find a new spot to write it down. The quote about power = strength over time came from an old video I have about Oprah Winfrey and her weight loss efforts. I never forgot that, and hopefully I am well on my way to being powerful. Finally, a few years back I signed my niece up for boxing. She was having some trouble at home and was a very angry kid and we both thought it would be good for her. On the night she signed up they gave me a brochure to read over and I found this on the inside. It has since become my absolute favourite and motivating passage to read.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson

Painting AP's ?????

So I spent a few hours today painting my bathroom. I tried to bribe my nephew last weekend to come and do it for me, and he said yes, but I haven't heard anything from him- I don't think he is very fond of painting- lol Anyway, back in January, I scraped off the old wallpaper, took down the old mirror and took the cover off of the light fixture and removed the pulls from the vanity but then just left it as it was. I finally went out last weekend and bought a can of undercoat and some painting tools and today I gave it a couple good coats of undercoat - walls ceiling, vanity(inside and out) door frame, door, everything is now nice and white. I am thinking it will be another 6 mos before I get around to actually painting. I have picked the colors and have an idea of what I want, it's just getting around to doing it. Here is a picture of the old wallpaper and how it is looking now

Since I am uploading pointless pictures (lol) Here is a picture of today's lunch which was a w.w. pita warmed up and spread with hummus. Then I mixed together cucumber, tomato, red pepper (all chopped up) black olives, feta cheese and fat free Italien dressing and stuffed it in the pita. Wow was it good. Here is a pic.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Gym Update

Pain is temporary, quitting is forever - Lance Armstrong

So after my last post about questioning whether or not I could really get fit, I found new motivation. One of the girls who works out with my trainer BJ before me asked me if I would run a 5k race with her in September. BJ is on board too so looks like I will be running a 5k race in the Toronto Marathon on October 18.

This morning I woke up and all the previous aches and pains were gone and I felt rested and renewed and couldn't wait to get to the gym. Today was a workout on the treadmill I had to run for 45 sec, then walk for 2 mins. Then when it was not too hard, BJ upped the time to 1 minute, that is full out running (well more of a jog really- speed set at 4.5mph)for 1 min....... so I ran and when I hit the 1 min mark BJ screamed out YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS ONE MINUTE! Now normally I would have been mortified at having all the other people on the treadmills turn to look at me, but today I just muttered "Way to draw all the attention to me" We were both beaming from ear to ear. It really is nice to work with someone who gets as much joy out of my accomplishments as I do. Anyway I was on the treadmill for a total of 45 mins, I was actually running for about 18 of those minutes, I am so freaking excited by this it isn't even funny.

Tonight however, my legs are really sore and I am exhausted, but I am back in the game- and loving every second of it!

I have included a picture of me and my niece, which was taken on the weekend simply because I love the way my arms look. I have stared at this picture so many times and never seem to get tired of it. - lol (You see I have always HATED my arms and they way they look in pictures, but in this one, they are not too bad)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hanging in

"Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be,

because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do." author unknown.

Don't have much to write about tonight. My eating is still not 100%. I started a new phase of my personal training yesterday, and today my quads are so sore I can barely walk. I am questioning whether i have it in me to become fit. I thought I could feel the athlete in me coming to the surface, but today I question whether I can take another 16 mos of this -16 months.

I do know that I have paid up until the end of September so I will not be giving up before that time.... My hope is that tomorrow I will wake up feeling good and ready to kick some more butt at the gym, but tonight, i want to just wallow in self pity*sigh*

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Friday Workout

Previous to yesterday, I had not worked out with my personal trainer since last Wednesday. He was off on the Friday, Monday was a holiday, and Wednesday I had a meeting to attend for work and was unable to make it to the gym. So considering the last few weeks (3 weeks to be exact) have been quite lean on the personal training front, I assumed BJ would take it easy on me on Friday morning, you know, kinda ease me back into the training. Ummmmmmm Noooooooo he didn't.

I did my 5 min walking warmup on the treadmill and came out to meet him. He took me directly to the treadmill and I began to walk at a pace of about 3 mph. Then he said, very nonchalantly I might add, "today you are going to run". Arrrrrrrrgh panic took over me only because i have never run on the treadmill. I've done a few short bursts in our training room, but not on the treadmill. So this is what the cycles consisted of:

- 45 sec running at 5 mph. Wow this was hard, I didn't think I could make the 45 sec, but I did,

- 2 mins of walking at 3mph. Trying to catch my breath during this time. I was starting to sweat.

- 45 sec running at 5.2mph. After about 5 sec I managed to gasp out"I an NEVER gonna make it" to which BJ yelled out yes you can GO-GO-GO. I made it to 45 seconds- but just barely.

- 2 mins of walking at 3mph. This time I was leaning into the front bar on the treadmill and gasping for air. I could feel the sweat running down my body.

- 45 sec of running at 5.4 mph. This time I did not look at the console which indicates the time. I looked at the treadmill belt below me and listened to sound of my feet hitting the belt in a constant rhythem, reminding me that I am running, and I concentrated on breathing deeply. I was shocked at how much easier this set was.

- 2 mins of walking at 3 mph. I had to hang on to the side rails on the treadmill to slow myself down a bit. I could see sweat dripping off of me. My hair was soaked. I felt like I was going to keel over.

- 45 of running at 5.5 mph. last set, thank God, run, run, run, run,run, my lungs felt as though they were going to explode. BJ was yelling in my ear, GO-GO-GO-GO. And then I GAVE UP! I jumped off onto the sides of the treadmill. He told me I only had 5 sec left and I was sooooooo mad at myself. i could have pushed for that last 5 sec.

Now keep in mind, this was only my warm up cardio part. After that i did weight training (upper body) with jumping jacks in between, plus another running session where I had to run back in forth in the gym for a period of 50 sec. When I was done my workout and went back into the change room, I couldn't believe how RED my face was from this workout.

The good new is that I have now graduated from PHASE 1 of my personal training. We are now moving into phase two which involves body sculpting. Higher amounts of weights at lower reps. PLUS more intense running, I am now doing real jumping jacks, where I actually jump.

When I joined the gym, I told BJ that my expectation was only that I left each day being amazed at what I was able to do. So far I have felt that way after every session.

When I completed the running phase BJ joking told me I looked like Donovan Bailey (the Canadian sprinter, once the fastest man in the world). Well when I finished that run I FELT like Donovan Bailey - and I was on TOP of the world.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Struggling with food

I am finding it really difficult to get back on the food wagon. My eating is a bit out of control and I need to pull in the reigns right now. Case in point. I made a huge bowl of popcorn last night and dowsed it in margarine and melted cheese slices. I was eating the popcorn, most of which was thoroughly saturated, almost soggy because of sitting in the margarine, and felt sick, but I just kept on eating and eating.... It is definitely triggered by emotions and I know that it is not about the food at all, but rather about a guy :(

Today I am going to blog my food intake, to make myself a little bit more accountable. So this morning I had a cup of coffee with non-fat creamer, now I am off to the gym to do some speed walking.

12:45- o.k 30 mins of walking on the treadmill done and logged. i pretty much walked at a speed between 2.5 to 3.5 and on an incline of 2 all the way up to two intervals at 15. I also added a couple of cycles on the machines, on for the back and one for the thighs (although I didn't know how to use the thigh machine and was doing it wrong -duh)

came home and had a w.w. english muffin with a tbsp of marj and a poached egg and a slice of cheese.

I just binged again on popcorn (smaller bowl this time) 3tbs of marg and two cheese slices. Gah, what is wrong with me. Anyway the cheese slices are all done, and pretty much most of the marg too, I am going to throw out the rest of the popcorn I think until I can trust myself not to binge.

Off to a BBQ at my Aunt's house in a bit, which should be nice and I will be able to get away from FOOD for a bit (I am also a closet eater and know I will not go ALL OUT while out with people).

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Back on track Day 1

So I was up early today, had a coffee(with mocha coffee mate) and was off to the gym. Today I did 30 mins walking on the treadmill first doing 1 min intervals up to an incline of 12 and a constant speed of 3 mph, then doing 1 min intervals of 4 mph then back down to 2mph for 2 mins. My shirt and hair were drenched with sweat- and it felt great. I should add that I did go to the gym for 30 mins yesterday afternoon as well, even though I had to park about a mile away from the mall doors ;)

Now I'm off to make some low sugar oatmeal for breakfast and head off to Rona to look for some undercoat to paint my bathroom. I am trying to keep busy because I know a huge binge trigger for me is boredom.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Back on track Part II

A few weeks ago when I did my first weigh in at the gym and my trainer reviewed my food diary, he made a few suggestions which I decided to document here and put into practice for the next few weeks (to begin with).

The first is to take a vitamin/mineral supplement. I am very good at buying them, just not good at taking them. They are usually huge and I have a hard time swallowing them. Today I am going to the health store and see if I can find a liquid form of the supplement.

Next is an Omega 3-6-9 pill, which my trainer advised will speed up my body's ability to burn fat. I have googled this and there seems to only be health benefits to taking this so I will give it a try.

Finally, I am going to refrain from eating carbs and protein together. Again this was suggested to me by my trainer, apparently carbs are broken down in your mouth, while protein doesn't start breaking down until it is in your stomach and eating these together slows down the body's ability to break them down (or something like that!)

So these are my goals. I will try them out and write about what I find out and if there are any changes to my weight loss or energy levels.

Getting Back on Track

Why is it that it is so hard to get back on track once you fall off the wagon. I went on a cruise for a week, and pretty much let myself go, I gave little thought to what I was eating and drank a bit too much as well. The good news is that I felt comfortable the entire week in every situation which is a complete 180 from the old me. I used to go on vacation and sit frozen in fear on the lounge chair and never go into the ocean because I was too afraid to walk along the beach in a swim suit.... On this trip I enjoyed the ocean at every opportunity, and it was fantastic. I also for the first time had a professional photo taken of me. My Dad has photos up on his wall of his three daughters and pic of me is my high school photo from 1983! So here are the two photos I had done:

I plan on taking a few more photos next year when I hope to go cruising again, which will be my "after" photos.

I told myself over and over, that this week I will get back on track, back to the gym, back to healthy eating, but that is yet to happen. I had two days of training with BJ, but now he is away until next friday. I will try and push myself to go to the gym at least a few times this coming week and plan on doing a "healthy food shop" today.

This seems to be my first test since beginning in January where motivation and confidence is lacking but I will take it as a challenge and kick it's ass!!!!!!