Tuesday, September 20, 2016


Monday I had my 4 shakes, 2 cups of water and a big bag of Cheetos.

Feelings:  worried about a call from the gym manager about my personal training situation.  My trainer has been off for over two months now and I don't think he's coming back.  VERY worried about his welfare, my future, and a big fight over getting my personal training money back (I don't want to train with anyone else)

Feelings:  sad about current dating situation.  Tired of always being an option instead of a priority.

Rating for the day:  FAIL

Today will be a better day, I can feel it.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Let's set some goals

for the short term.  As I mentioned in my previous post I am going on vacation in October.  I leave 5 weeks from today.  I really want to be back into my old size 16 clothes before I leave.  I would say I will need to lose approximately 15 to 20 pounds this month in order to get there, so I am going to make 20 pounds my goal. 

To get there I will need to stick to my plan 100% and get lots of gym time in, and of course drink tons of water. 

I know I have a family dinner party on October 1, and a dinner planned with a friend mid October.  My plan is to keep those days a meet and veg days.  

Aaaaaaaaand, go.......

A positive spin on things

Still here, still fighting...... Going to try something completely different today (for me anyway) and do a 1 month update, and focus only on what I did right. 

- did not give up
- remained on program for 50% of the last 30 days
- booked an amazing trip for next month (experience of a lifetime)
- continued to research clean eating and binge eating
- looking for ways to ensure I stay on track for another month
- Remaining positive
- lost 15 pounds for the month
-% of weight lost 5.17 (goal 44.83%)

(note:  all I can think of right now is negative thoughts and my brain is flooded with all the things that I did wrong, but I will push those thoughts from my head and soldier on)

End of month 1 - total lost 15 lbs
Start weight - 290
current weight 275

Tuesday, September 6, 2016


Had a very busy weekend, and I absolutely struggled with my food choices.  Didn't succomb to fast food, but I did have a couple of drinks and food at a house party sunday, and yesterday I had food at a BBQ and also had popcorn and ice cream.  Just feel the need to come clean with my struggle.

Today, I am up to 281.6.  Just going to jump right back on the wagon today and see what happens.  I have a weighin on Thursday afternoon.

This weeks goals
- get back to the gym
-get back on track food wise
-water, water, water
-get back to reading/practicing cognitive therapy book/binge eating book.
- make sure to read card listing reasons I want to lose weight OFTEN\

Friday, September 2, 2016

Chugging along

Scale finally dipped under 280 this morning.  Scale read 279.4.  My weight yesterday was 280.2 so I missed my end of September goal to lose 12 lbs by 2.2lbs.  Not upset about this though.  I am absolutely thrilled that I managed to stay on this plan for 2.5 weeks

When I started, I didn't think I was capable of staying on this program for 4.5 days, let alone 4.5 months.  Now I know I can do this...... I am 4 months away to the life I have struggled to get to for the last 30 years. 

My motivation for the next 6 weeks is the possibility of a plane trip.   My last trip I weighed 290lbs and it was the most uncomfortable 4 hours of my life.  I should be around 250 next trip, and 180 for my cruise at the end of Feb.....