Major Setback or Major Breakthrough????

For the last little while I have written a bit about my trainer trying to figure me out- how to motivate me to reach my goals, we had the bashing me session, and we had the challenge to lose 20 lbs or shave my head. Neither worked. On Friday, my trainer told me he has been thinking about me a lot trying to figure me out.... I told him even i haven't figured me out, so please enlighten me once he has- lol.

That conversation got me thinking about what the "problem" is. On my drive home from work Friday I was still pondering this when it hit me like a ton of bricks: there is no problem- I am thrilled to death with my progress thus far and even though the weight it coming off slowly, I have changed both internally and externally in the last 8 months. I still have to speak to my trainer about this new found revelation but it's nice to not be worrying about what I am doing wrong, and be proud of me for what I am doing right.

Now talking about what I am doing wrong- lol. I decided it was time to let loose for an evening and forget about watching weight, or exercise or dating troubles and hook up with my girlfriends for a wild night out.... It started with wine and pizza (lots and lots of pizza) and went downhill from there. But I had an awesome time, drank waaay too much and feel like a bag of shyte today. The good news is I am ready to refocus and plan and kick things back into high gear again.

One final note, even though I did not reach my final 20lb goal, I decided to go get my hair cut and colored yesterday and I made sure my make up was perfect and I was dress in proper fitting clothes. I even have a picture (lol) (photo has been deleted, every time I look at it I break out laughing...)


I am SUCH a poser- lol. You can always tell when I am feeling good about myself because I do that little pouty thing that my friends laugh at- hahaha. BUT I must say, I got quite a bit of attention from the men last night, and THAT felt wonderful.

Blog Award!

Blog Award!
I am the proud owner of my first blog award, thank you Tina's Journey with WW for a lovely surprise.

The rules:

Step 1 – Acknowledge the giver.
Step 2 – Pass the award onto 15 other blogs that I love

To start off, I would like to give this award to:

1. A Berry Blueberry Blog
2. Memoirs of a Fat Girl Going Skinny
3. When I Turn 40.....
4. Sephgirl's Weight-loss Journey
5. Vegetarian Loser

and of course:

6. Tina's Journey with WW

Thanks for the inspiration and for the wonderful feedback to my posts :)

Friday weigh in

Weigh in (home scale) 242.5

I am off to the gym for my weekly weigh in and workout. Lets hope their scale is kind to me as well, and I have a couple of lbs off. Back later.

Follow up: so I weighed in at the gym and lost 0.6lbs. I had a talk with my trainer and we have decided to sort of scrap the 20lb challenge. He said that the challenge was supposed to motivate me, but it was obviously causing my distress and that is not healthy!

So, today I worked my butt off doing upper arms and shoulders and back. My hands are still shaky as I type this, and I KNOW I am going to be sore tomorrow. Add to this the fact that my calves, thighs and butt are killing me today from Wednesday's workout and I am pretty much a mess- lol.

I picked up my bike yesterday and took it back to the cycle store to get a tune up, so i will pick it up later today, I have made plans to ride with a friend of mine, who lives close to the country. I am looking forward to the biking a lot, plus I bought a new helmet that makes me look so athletic. hahahaha.

I picked up my bike this afternoon and went by my dad's house to show him (he used to race bikes when he was young and I thought he might enjoy seeing it). So my uncle was there visiting him and I haven't seen him for quite some time...... and he commented on how much weight I have lost! Yippee, he is a very quiet man and normally doesn't say much so for him to mention my weight loss is awesome....

I am going out to see the Ugly Truth tonight and then out for a drink and appies with friends. But I will try my hardest to be good.

One final note that needs to be documented. My Nephew Jason called to tell me that he passed his high school equivilency exam. He is so excited, I told him I am proud of his accomplishment and told him that my Dad, his Papa had tears in his eyes when he told me earlier today, we are all very proud of him. He is now one step closer to his dream of being in the Armed Forces. He is now contemplating joining the Air Force instead of the Army.

Tuesday

Morning weigh in 246.5

Happy Monday and my first 5k

Morning weigh in : 249.5

So today at the gym I did my very first full 5k run/walk. it took me 58 minutes to complete and i was completely exhausted when i finished. My trainer was talking to me the whole way about goals and seeing myself in the future and what is stopping me from really getting going... I was getting upset as it was because I was tired and I have come to the realization that I will not make my 20lb goal by september 4, and that has been eating me up. Then he mentioned that if someone I loved was dying of cancer and me running for ten minutes would save them, I would most definitely do it. This hit such an emotional chord with me. As I have written before, this year is the 10th year anniversary of my Mom's death to breast cancer and my goal is to run the 5k in her honour, so yeah, if running 5k straight would erase the pain that I and my family has suffered over the last 10 years I would run a marathon. Anyhow, I suppose I was a little bit tired or moody or whatever, because i totally broke down and cried as i was running*sigh*. I hate to be weak, but it just got to me, which I think is what my trainer was trying to do actually. Anyway, not looking for pity, just wanted to document my day in case I need to re-read it at a later date for inspiration.

New Bike

Morning weigh in: 251!

I bought a new bike on E Bay yesterday! One of the sellers is the Police Auctions in Toronto, and they had this nice looking bike on there which I bid on an won. It does need some upgrading, a new seat and just an overall maintenance, which I will have done at a local bike shop. This bike retails for over $400.00 though so I am happy with the deal I got. Looking forward to picking it up and getting into bike riding. Woot I am one step closer to my triathlon next summer..... Here is the bike:

Comparison Pic

morning weigh in: 244lbs




I am struggling today, and was looking for some inspiration. I think I have found it in these photos. The first one was taken last September while I attempted to hike at a nearby park. I remember I was just getting over a ruptured disk in my back and could barely walk for longer than 10 minutes without being exhausted. I was in some serious pain in this photo. I was also a smoker. I quit 2 mos after this picture was taken and I should mention gained about more about 20 more pounds before January 1, 2009.

I was 260lbs in the first pic and 245 in the 2nd, so only 15lbs lighter but I can see a pretty big difference...can you? This is the motivation I need to see that working out is helping - A LOT!

Here is a close up of my face. Is there a difference? I think I just look healthier in the second picture(even though I look horrible - smile much-lol)

2 week boot camp- Day 3 & Weigh in

Official weight: 244.5

I am so frustrated with the scale. I think this week I am not going to look at the scale at all and just try and focus on eating right and exercising lots.

Today was a brutal workout. Basically all legwork, which began with walking then running the perimeter of the gym, and then doing some arm and chest work and then three kicking cycles which were brutal, followed by a squat cycle (50 squats at a time) and ending with yet another run around the gym! Phew, makes me tired just reading it!

Anyway, back on track today, I am going to browse a farmers market this morning, going for a pedicure this afternoon, and going on a date this evening! Sigh, I love being on vacation.

2 week boot camp- Day 2

morning weigh in: 243

I am an absolute slug today. If you've ever heard of Senna tea, I drank some of that last night, and today I am staying close to the bathroom (Yuck TMI I know). It was recommended to me as a cleanse. My body fat has been dropping but my actual weight has not, I'm not quite sure if I am full of water or full of something else- lol

Today I will be running up and down the stairs in my condo to the laundry room and plan on getting in an hour at the gym this afternoon. I may even head into the sauna and try and sweat out some more fluid before weigh in tomorrow morning.

I will write more later.

2 week boot camp- Day 1

morning weight: 243

Exercise: 1 hr with trainer (wearing 40lb weighted vest)

-20min on the treadmill, goal 1.2 mile in 15 min (plus 5 min warm up), I managed 0.9 in 15 minutes

- balance of session was various exercises for a full body workout,

Workout intensity: Very high

In the spirit of my bootcamp, my trainer pulled out this weighted vest for me to wear. Of course my first thought was it's never going to fit me, but it did, although there was a gap in the front. My fear turned to absolute dread when he told me it weighed 40lbs. I felt every one of those 40lbs to the point where at one point I was on the floor, on a mat but could hardly muster the strength in my legs to pull myself up. Only a few months ago I was carrying an extra 30lbs around with me everywhere! Needless to say, the workout was super intense, I had to work way harder and it shed a lot of light because this is close to my start weight and it felt like it did when I started. My trainer was using this as an exercise to show me what I will go back to if I don't keep exercising, but me with my rose colored glasses, thought firstly about how far I have come in a few months, and secondly, if working out is so much easier 40 lbs lighter, just imagine how much easier it will be when I knock off another 80 :)

I really DO have abs!

I found this to be true this morning when I got the full effect of yesterday mornings workout. I feel as though there are a thousand little people banging hammers into my gut...... and when I cough or sneeze, well the pain is intense. I just keep on telling myself that I really DO have abs and even though my six pack is covered in a thick layer of insulation, they are still there!

I am officially on vacation, now, I need to somehow lose a lot of weight in the next few weeks so I need to be focused and I am going to document both my weigh fluctuations as well as what exercise I do, hopefully this will keep me more accountable. No excuses, it's time to get my ass in gear and kick it up a notch (or ten)

I start with my personal training session tomorrow morning, I will do a weigh in first thing tomorrow (on my home scale) and document from there.

weigh in results and a NSV

Just a quick post. I missed weigh in on Friday, so I did it today. Lost 1lb which is good. I still need to lose 14lbs by the end of this month to fulfill the challenge to lose 20lb. I still maintain that I am going to do it... I know I am still holding on to lots of water so the 14lbs is not all fat and will come off eventually.

So today my trainer told me to just run on the treadmill for as long as I could.... no time limits or expectations just do what felt comfortable.... previous to today my longest time was three minutes.... today I ran for 5 minutes straight, and I wasn't completely exhausted either....

Right, off to work, two more days and then I am on 2 weeks vacation, I cannot wait!

Recuperation and a slight tumble from the wagon

All I have to say is Saturday was my sisters wedding, and yesterday was my birthday. There was lots of food and alcohol involved in the last two days and today the scale is up 5lbs...... Yikes, I have to do some major damage control this week. I was planning on getting a hair cut this week but I may as well just leave it as it appears I will be shaving it all off at the end of the month anyway. Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh

Friday weigh in and cake

Yesterday I woke up and checked myself on my scale, I was exactly the same as I was last week. I began panicking about go to the gym and weighing in but I finally made it out the door. So walking towards the scale, I told my trainer I didn't think I did well, he said, I'm gonna yell at you Sharon (said with a smile on his face though), so I looked at him and said, please don't I have had a crappy week and I really cannot handle it today. I will either kick you (thanks Blue for the suggestion) or I will turn around and walk out of here in tears.....

So I lost 0.4 (2lbs of fat). I told him I don't understand, I have been eating really well all week, he asked if I drink crystle light and I told him I do. he said not to as it makes you retain water! who knew. So I am now giving that up in the hopes of dropping this weight.

So there is one month left in my challenge and I need to lose 15lbs by the end of August or shave my head! I have booked two weeks vacation later this month so I can see long hours in the gym in my future- but I WILL SUCEED.

Now today is my sisters wedding, and last night I was doing the cake. A friend of mine came over at around 8 last night and we worked on putting it together. It looks pretty, probably not what it would have looked like if it was professionally done, but then again it didn't cost $600.00!

I will post pictures later today. I also will post pictures of my boxing wraps that my trainer brought in for me on Friday. They are pink and so pretty, and he also brought in his own boxing gloves that he wears when he competes, so I was feeling super awesome on Friday and did a really hard 10 round x 1 minute Thai boxing session, which was really hard but fantastic!

Here is the cake: