So something happened at work on Thursday and I have been trying to put it out of my mind and pretend that it has not affected me.
I had a customer come in to meet with the lawyer I work for and myself on Thursday. Now this man has told me on numerous occasions that he was not well, has a heart condition and recently had a stroke. He wanted to come in to discuss a legal matter involving his property and I have put it off for a long time because of his health issues, but he insisted to come in. The three of us sat it a boardroom discussing the situation and all of a sudden he started to have an angina attack. He had his nitro spray and seemed to settle down and then boom he had another one. I managed to keep it together in the boardroom, but as soon as he left (after he was feeling a bit better) I retreated to the washroom and broke down in tears, it was so upsetting partly because my Grandmother had angina and had a massive heart attack and died in front of me. This was quite a few years ago and I realized that I never spoke about that experience, never dealt with it and this experience just brought everything to the surface. I have spent every day since then pushing the feelings down and numbing myself with food.
I need to deal with the pain of both experiences and let it go so that I can move on, I just need to figure out how to do this.
4 comments:
Sharon-do you have a close friend or family member that you can talk to about this? how about a grief counselor? it seems like you need to talk about it, and if that means crying or screaming too, you need to do it. Pushing it down below the surface and not dealing with it is never good. I am sorry you are suffering with this. Please reach out to someone and talk. Best wishes!
okay, first of all, you have to realize that it is not your fault he had an attack. It is a stressful situation for everyone but he made the choices that led him to being in that situation.
Second, I agree, is there someone or an EAP program through work or a grief counselling program in your community where you could talk to someone. You know you can email me but I really do think having professional help to guide you through this.
Sharon, that is so terrible that you had both those experiences. I agree with both of the remarks above about seeing a counsellor. I really believe talking about it will help and a professional would know how to help you do that.
Hang in there! :)
Thanks for the posts ladies. Just wanted to say, the cusomer came back in yesterday (the lawyer saw him alone)and he was fine. It made me feel better knowing he was ok.
I do feel like maybe I do need to talk to someone about this though, so I will look into what services are available through work and go from there.
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