Struggling with food

I am finding it really difficult to get back on the food wagon. My eating is a bit out of control and I need to pull in the reigns right now. Case in point. I made a huge bowl of popcorn last night and dowsed it in margarine and melted cheese slices. I was eating the popcorn, most of which was thoroughly saturated, almost soggy because of sitting in the margarine, and felt sick, but I just kept on eating and eating.... It is definitely triggered by emotions and I know that it is not about the food at all, but rather about a guy :(

Today I am going to blog my food intake, to make myself a little bit more accountable. So this morning I had a cup of coffee with non-fat creamer, now I am off to the gym to do some speed walking.

12:45- o.k 30 mins of walking on the treadmill done and logged. i pretty much walked at a speed between 2.5 to 3.5 and on an incline of 2 all the way up to two intervals at 15. I also added a couple of cycles on the machines, on for the back and one for the thighs (although I didn't know how to use the thigh machine and was doing it wrong -duh)

came home and had a w.w. english muffin with a tbsp of marj and a poached egg and a slice of cheese.

I just binged again on popcorn (smaller bowl this time) 3tbs of marg and two cheese slices. Gah, what is wrong with me. Anyway the cheese slices are all done, and pretty much most of the marg too, I am going to throw out the rest of the popcorn I think until I can trust myself not to binge.

Off to a BBQ at my Aunt's house in a bit, which should be nice and I will be able to get away from FOOD for a bit (I am also a closet eater and know I will not go ALL OUT while out with people).