Something is really bothering me

It's been on my mind for days now, but I have been reluctant to post because I don't really know how to put my feelings into words, but let me try.

I feel like I have worked very hard over the last two years to get to where I am today. Now I realize I haven't lost that much weight, but my body size has gone down considerably and my fitness level has skyrocketed. I have been trying to figure out why I seem to be stalled at 240lbs. It's not a plateau or anything to do with my body, I think I have just gotten comfortable with the way I look. I think I look ok and have begun to "blend in" rather that "stick out". I have run a 5k, done a try a tri, climbed the CN tower and have been killing the mountain bike trails- I grabbed my bike and rode along the crowded boardwalk in toronto (which is a huge accomplishment for me because I normally would not even think of doing that for fear or being ridiculed)

That's all pretty great right, but here is the thing. I planned an overnight get away for me and my three nieces this coming week. I wanted to strike something off of my bucket list so I chose zip lining. The girls are really excited to do this with me but..... there is a note in the brochure saying that women who wear a size 18 or over will not fit into the harness. Whaaaaat.. I am currently just fitting into a size 16, but depending on the clothing I still wear some things in a size 18. I am terrified of going and not having the stupid harness fit.... so I have chosen not to participate, but rather go along and take pictures of my nieces as they zip line.... I am so upset because I feel like I have come so far but this just shows me that I still do not fit!

I have decided that rather than take this as a negative thing, I am going to use this as a positive to start losing again. I want to be past the point of having to ever worry if I am over the weight restriction, or if the harness is going to fit. I will go to the park and experience how humiliating and upsetting it is to have to walk the course when I want to be up there participating and I'm going to make a deal with myself that next spring I will be able to get up there and comfortably zip line.

Onwards and Downwards. (just not *down* a zipline)