So I was speaking to my Dad yesterday afternoon, and I should say, that my Dad is truly my hero, all my life everything that he does and everything that he says is gospel to me. I've also realized that a lot of the negative self esteem problems that I have now, come from my parents and they way they raised me. Now understand I do not hold them responsible in the least for the negative self esteem and weight problems I suffer from today, but I am beginning to see where at least some of it comes from.
So back to yesterday, we were just chatting about life etc and then he mentioned someone he knows and how they are now morbidly obese. He said it's funny because to talk to him on the phone, he is the most nice happy person ever, and you would just never think that they were so big and fat! I honestly just shook my head in disbelief, and looked at him and said, honestly Dad, what does one have to do with the other? seriously, and I wonder how I grew up thinking I was never worthy of anything simply because I was fat. I wanted to yell at him and say that it is because of comments like that that I have been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months. But alas, I have been taught from a young age not to speak back to my father, so I just changed the subject and said I really need to get going.
In my head today, I am trying to deal with this, I will not bury these feelings inside me like I did in the past, I am trying, rather than being mad at him, to feel sorry for him for his ignorance, and just let it go.
Why does this journey have to be such a battle...
1 comment:
If it wasn't a battle, then all the fun is gone *laughs*
I wish we could just sail through this but we can't; and it makes it a bit better to know that the hard work will pay off.
Although, perfect world: we'd all wake up at goal!!!
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