Clawing my way back onto the wagon

"getting back on the wagon" - a phrase I use often and generally leaves me feeling like a bit of a failure.  I am removing this term from my vocabulary stat. I prefer to think that while I have tried to eat healthy in the last few months, I know there is much room for improvement.  I am going to work on making small changes and see if I can kickstart my weight loss again.

My goal is to be in a size 14 when I do my fall clothing shopping next month.  I am currently wearing a 16 but my clothes are starting to feel a bit tight.  My weight is up to 250lbs from my lowest of 235, so I have some work to do. 


Goals for tomorrow:

-be at the gym for 6 a.m. and get at least 20 minutes run/walk cycle in prior to doing weights with my trainer.
- get back to the gym in the evening for a step class - this will be my first time doing it, so I won't be at full throttle, but at least I will be moving.
- track all food on myfitness pal
- make sure to drink 8 glasses of water minimum.


I will be back to make new goals tomorrow and to see how I did on the aforementioned goals.

Mountain bike riding

Had a great day out on the trails yesterday and my friend was able to video tape me on some of the trails so I could document my progress.... In my head I think I look like the female equivalent of Lance Armstrong out there but ummm reality check - lol

No matter though, I know that 90 % of my friends big or small would be able to conquer the trails that I hit - and that make me proud of my accomplishment - and from the neck up I look fricken amazing hahaha

The dreaded day had arrived

Tomorrow is my last day of personal training. I have been working with my trainer B.J for 3 years now it all comes to an end tomorrow.

I have been really struggling all weekend. He has become like a little brother to me, and cannot imagine not having him there beside me pushing me, calming me down, and instilling confidence in me.

I will have to take a look back at the changes I have made over the three years. I think part of me feels like I have failed both myself and him because I am still overweight, but I know that I am truly a different person today that I was 3 years ago - in so many ways.

I have asked to do a boxing workout tomorrow because that truly has become my love, and I plan on joining another boxing/martial arts club in a month or so to continue boxing.


UPDATE: Just as I was sending this my trainer texted me and I have decided to bite the bullet and go ahead with two more months of training. I will have to really cut back on other areas of my life to afford to do this, but I know it's not my time to stop yet. I am going to continue to do ther group fitness classes and really up the calorie burn. My food intake needs to be kicked into high gear as well. First stop- my morning coffee - I've slipped back into putting cream and sugar in it.... I just dumped the remainder of the cream down the sink..... I'm done with that shit....... I have two final months and I have to make them count...... I think my motto is going to be try try try again.....